


Fine

by babybam



Series: Mayday [4]
Category: GOT7
Genre: Anxiety, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Kunpimook Bhuwakul | BamBam-centric, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-02
Updated: 2018-10-02
Packaged: 2019-07-24 00:44:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16170116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babybam/pseuds/babybam
Summary: His body and mind had been preparing this attack since the day before and he was finally pushed over the edge.





	Fine

**Author's Note:**

> Oh, hello, I'm back again after almost a YEAR! I didn't even realize it's been that long since I posted a got7 because I did post fics for other fandoms in the spring LOL
> 
> Anyway, this fic has been sitting and waiting to be finished for months and I finally pulled myself together to finish it, it's not the best but anyway :D I asked for your ideas in the prev part of the series and this is kind of a combination of the ideas you left so! I hope it's good enough!
> 
> The title, btw, is highkey inspired by Yugyeom's solo
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy this!

Bambam was laying on his bed, on his stomach and holding his phone in his hand. He was scrolling through the comments of their latest performance on Naver. He liked to do that just to see what their fans thought of their performances. At the moment he was frowning though, the comments were nice, amazing even. The fans were really happy with the whole performance and seemed to love it a lot. But there was this one comment Bambam kept going back to, reading it again and again.

_ㅋㅋ BamBam sounds so bad. This would be better without him, right? ㅋㅋㅋㅋactually Got7 would be better without him. Got6 fighting!_

Bambam could've just ignored it and moved on but the amount of upvotes it had was what caught his attention. _44 upvotes_. It was a lot of people. It was a Got7 video which meant that the viewers were their fans, Got7's fans. The fact that there were so many _fans_ hating on him made him feel awful and even more insecure than what he already was. Of course, he knew they all got hate and not everyone could like them, but there was just something about that comment and that moment which really made his mood drop. He had been feeling a little down since the previous day, his anxiety had been building up and the bad comment just helped it to grow.

Bambam kept replaying the performance, just to see and hear himself and figure out how he should improve.

 

A door slamming startled him and he blinked his eyes, trying to focus his gaze. He had been staring at his phone for such a long time and had completely zoned out. His hands were shaking a little and he realized how he was a little out of breath as his heart was beating really fast. The familiar feeling of _panic_ was engulfing him. Bambam didn't want to get an attack, he refused. When his _condition_ had leaked to the public, it caused his anxiety to get worse, even though he had gotten a lot of supportive messages, but it had been all over the media and, as everyone knows, netizens aren't always the nicest. But in the past weeks his anxiety had gotten better and he didn't get attacks as often anymore. And he definitely didn't want to get an attack just because of some stupid comment.

His body thought differently though. He felt like his body and mind had been preparing this attack since the day before and he was finally pushed over the edge.

He locked his phone and let it fall on the bed. He laid down on his back, trying to take deep breaths but the only thing he could focus on was his heart and its rapid beating. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to breath slowly and deeply, but it was easier said than done. His heart was bounding and it made him panic even more. He felt like he wasn't getting enough air despite his deep breaths. When it started to feel too suffocating to be laying down he pulled himself into a sitting position and placed his trembling hand on his chest, he could feel his heart even better. His chest felt so tight and tears started blurring his vision, he felt so bad about everything. His head was a mess and he couldn't think straight.

He tried to wipe his tears away as he got up from the bed. Mark and Jackson were supposed to be home, they could help him. Make him feel better. His friends always knew what to do when Bambam himself was pathetically crying and panicking.

The other four members had some schedules and were all gone for the day whereas Bambam himself and Jackson and Mark didn't have any schedules, which was a little surprising.

Bambam's legs were shaky and he was starting to hyperventilate as he reached the door and pulled it open. Without any thought he went towards the living room and kitchen area, hoping Jackson and Mark, or at least one of them, would be there.

”Hyung?” he spluttered, wiping his eyes furiously as the tears just kept pouring. 

”Bam?” someone said and Bambam choked on his breath. He rounded the corner and saw Jackson and Mark sitting on the couch. Mark stood up and Bambam walked to him, still wiping the tears away. His chest was squeezing so much and he felt sick. 

“I don’t feel good,” he choked out, Mark nodded and took his hand. He guided Bambam to the couch next to Jackson and sat on his other side. Jackson gently placed his hand on Bambam’s back and started rubbing it. 

“It’s gonna be okay, Bambam, just breathe, this will pass,” Mark said, he was still holding Bambam’s right hand. Bambam tried to focus on their touches and voices, tried not to think about the panic that was storming inside him. Everything was a bit blurry though and his ears were buzzing so he couldn’t quite make out what Jackson and Mark were saying. It made another wave of tears roll down his cheeks. His heart was beating so fast and he felt like he was gonna throw up at any minute.

“I’m gonna vomit,” he said without thinking much. The hand on his back paused for a moment before continuing. 

“Are you? Bambam?” Mark asked and Bambam heard it clearly. Was he? Probably not, when he thought of it. He shook his head. He squeezed Mark’s hand hard, trying to ground himself.

“Bambam, can you hear me?” Jackson asked. 

“Yeah.”

“I’m gonna count,” Jackson said and Bambam nodded. The counting method helped almost always and he could breathe easier and he felt like he was gaining control over his body again. Jackson stopped counting when Bambam was able to control his breathing without it.

“You’re doing great, just breathe, it’s ok,” Jackson said. Bambam took a deep breath and held it for a moment before releasing, he repeated it a few times. It was basically what he did when they counted but when he was panicking more, the counting helped him.

He let go of Mark’s hand and wiped the tears away, they had finally stopped. He sighed and rubbed his face. 

“Hey, we were just thinking of watching the Black Panther, Jackson’s never actually seen it, do you wanna watch with us?” Mark asked and Bambam turned to look at him, he didn’t have to think for long. 

“Of course,“ he said, trying to smile. A movie sounded very good actually.

“I’ll make popcorn, I’m sure we have some. You put the movie on,” Jackson said and pointed at Mark. 

“You should go wash your face, you’ll feel better,” Jackson said to Bambam and he nodded, he probably would. And he was gonna get his phone too. 

He noticed his hands were still trembling slightly when he was washing his face, he wasn’t feeling completely well just yet but he was getting there. He dried his face and went to the bedroom, his chest squeezed a little but he took a deep breath and ignored it. He opened his phone and quickly closed all the tabs on his browser and then closed all the apps he had been using. 

When he returned to the living room Mark was ready with the movie but Bambam could still hear the microwave, meaning Jackson wasn’t done with the popcorn. 

“Come here,” Mark said and opened his arms. Bambam accepted the cuddle with a smile. Mark petted his hair as they waited for Jackson, it didn’t take long for him to come and they were able to start the movie. Bambam tried his best not to fall asleep and he was so close to making it till the end of the movie, but he didn’t. He could feel someone putting a blanket over him but he was too gone to react.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Leave comments and kudos :D
> 
> I think this might be the last fic in this series, I can't think of anything to write or how to continue, it would get too repetitive if I just wrote the same thing again and again just changing some little facts :( But if I get some amazing ideas (not very likely lol) i'll definitely continue, but don't expect too much OTL


End file.
